Reuben says: First, I would submit this: http://phoenixpreacher.net/?p=8644
As that was my experience with CC for a vast majority of my churched life, there was a time when I thought the PhxP was caustic poison, lies, and manipulation by a single man who had a beef with someone in his past. I figured that because people loved watching train wrecks, naturally people loved Michael, because he threw the train wrecks up regularly.
It is funny to me that things have changed so radically in such a very short period of time. It was necessary. It was necessary to grow me.
I had bad experiences with spiritual abuse in Vineyard, and sort of rehabbed in CC for many years. I started into ministry in CC. I came to know and love many pastors in the Colorado area. I worked with many pastors and youth pastors over the years, and really felt like I belonged to a family.
I served as a worship leader for about 10 years. I served as a youth pastor for about 12. I preached at a number of churches over the years, and I was an up and coming face in CC to be sure.
I met a pastor online who created a blog community that was remembered by the old timers of PhxP as the anti-PhxP blog. I recollect that there were about 300 pastors of various Calvary Chapels who read there regularly. It was turned into a closed blog after a while, as fights between readers here and there created pressure on the blog creator from higher ups to shut it down. The blog owner decided to make it private instead.
The blog owner asked me if I would be interested in helping out his church, so I went and visited, and decided that this was a move in the right direction, packed the family and moved across the country.
Long story short, I discovered quite a bit about Calvary Chapel that I did not know. I also discovered quite a bit about myself. Both leveled me. I realized that I destroyed my family by doing what I was taught, that God will take care of everything if I simply pursue the call. This is damnable lies. I learned that I don’t agree with Calvary Chapel theology. I learned that Calvary Chapel is not middle of the road, but very sectarian. I learned that I had pride in something that I did not understand. I learned that I was wilfully ignorant.
I regret that I had to learn that most of what people said here on the PhxP was true, and I experienced it first hand.
I learned that I would be loved in Calvary Chapel as long as I towed the party line, protected the infallibility, stayed inside the philosophical box. If my wife did not align herself with the party line, I needed to hit the road. And I did. Because I had to. I was fired.
In two short years, I lost everything but my family. By the grace of God, I still have that. Later, I realized that I gained a whole new perspective on just about everything. My theology shifted to what would become totally unwelcome at Calvary Chapel. I lost my identity as a pastor, which could be one of the best things that ever happened to me.
If it were my chance to ask Chuck Smith some questions, I would have to first ask, “Does Calvary Chapel look anything like what you envisioned in the early years?” I would also ask, “Has Calvary Chapel become everything it was once against?”
I know the answers to those questions, but my efforts are better spent on loving people that were eaten alive by the machine, than wasted correcting a system that has no desire to change.
I lost quite a few friends. Being a part of one faction for so many years proved damaging. I colored outside the lines, and lost my home. Again, it may be one of the best things that ever happened to me. Men I respected and loved became my worst enemies. Literally over night. I still love them, but I am not wearing the company hat anymore, and that ended communication. 99%. The few that have even looked my direction since those days have been lending you their ears here.
I would say that it is wise to respect and cherish the few Calvary Chapel guys who do interact here, because from the inside, I know it to be a fact that even being associated with this community is all but suicide within the CC system. That will be the case more so now than ever before.
The bridges need to be proactively built, not obliterated by sectarian attitudes, or guilt by association. This needs to happen because there are millions, millions who attend CC every week. Think about that for a minute.
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There are others who have a story to tell. I myself was abused and mistreated by what I called "The Holy Huddle" until I was basically told to leave by one of Chuck's children. It is ok to speak out against abuse. It is ok to not be silent. It is ok to not buy into the false construct...let the chips lay where they fall...
http://www.calvarychapelabuse.com/wordpress/
