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Friday, April 01, 2016

April Fools Joke Backfires And Cost Some People Their Jobs

Google is facing a fierce backlash after introducing a new tool for April Fools' Day that has cost some people potential jobs

 The new Gmail Mic Drop button, which sits next to the normal send button, ends an email thread forever by muting all future replies to the sender, and firing off a gif of a minion 'mic dropping' at the same time. 

After an immediate backlash the feature was taken down early on Friday morning.

 Some people using it had failed to see the funny side, saying that by accidentally pressing the button instead of simply sending the email, they have appeared rude or unprofessional, in some cases costing them jobs.

Youtube is about to select a winner. YouTube is scheduled to go black at midnight tonight.

Obama Announces Plan To Store Nation’s Extra Stuff In Large Plastic Crate 

WASHINGTON—Noting that the container would reduce clutter and help keep the country organized, President Obama announced a plan Tuesday to store the nation’s extra stuff in a large plastic crate. “I urge any American citizen who has too many things lying around their home to just give me the possessions they don’t need right now and I’ll keep them in this big plastic crate,” said Obama, calling on all 320 million Americans to send him any unused desk lamps, old sports equipment, or throw blankets that are taking up too much space or making a mess of their place. “I’ve already written ‘Nation’s Stuff’ on a piece of masking tape on the side of the crate, and I’ll keep it on a shelf in the White House basement, so you’ll know ...Read More.

Clinton Campaign Airlifts 200 Crates Of Volunteers To Wisconsin Headquarters 


McDonald’s Announces New Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac 


Concept Car Designers Struggling To Think Of Cool New Ways For Doors To Open 

 MUNICH—Expressing concern that they wouldn’t come up with anything good before the International Motor Show in September, concept car designers at BMW’s corporate headquarters admitted to reporters Thursday they have been struggling to think of cool new ways for their automobiles’ doors to open. “We set the bar way too high with gull-wing doors and those scissor doors that swing open vertically from a hinge on the front, so now we’re pretty hard-pressed to come up with anything half as good as that,” said engineer Rudolph Reindell, who noted that his team easily devised innovative new body, grill, and spoiler designs, but have been stuck on doors for weeks. 

Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big
Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out 

 STAGE 6—Saying the slightly raised, throbbing red patch of skin has been bothering him for quite some time, local video game boss Overlord told reporters Wednesday he was thinking he should get the big glowing weak spot on his back checked out. “I was hoping the spot would eventually just go away, but recently it started flashing white when anything touches it,” said Overlord, adding that whenever the radiant area is aggravated, he becomes paralyzed for several seconds, during which time he cannot retract his segmented limbs or move the projectile-spitting skull-faces at the end of his appendages.

New Evidence Suggests Early Humans First Used Fire To Impress Friends 

 KURUMAN, SOUTH AFRICA—Archaeologists excavating a 1.5-million-year-old Homo erectus habitation site this week unearthed the strongest evidence to date that early humans first used fire to impress their friends. “Based on the locations and prevalence of burn marks at the site, we can infer that fire was initially utilized by early humans to show off in front of one another, typically by leaping over a flaming pit or passing their hands quickly back and forth across the flame of a burning log,” said Boston University researcher Benjamin Shostick, adding that the discovery supports the hypothesis that setting a grassy plain ablaze to crack up friends was an important part of hominid culture long before fire was used for cooking and warmth.

Peyton Manning Fondly Recalls When Not Winning Super Bowl Was Most Damaging Part Of Legacy 

 DENVER—Amid recent accusations of HGH use and resurfacing sexual assault allegations from his said Manning, adding that he now longs for past ridicule that focused exclusively on below-par performances in the playoffs against lower-seeded AFC teams.
time in college, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning fondly recalled when the most damaging aspect of his legacy was that he had not won a Super Bowl, sources confirmed Monday. “You know, I really miss when the biggest hit to my personal and professional reputation was failing to deliver a championship with the Colts,”

Leonardo DiCaprio Morphs Back Into Hairy, Overweight Iowan After Finally Receiving Oscar 

 LOS ANGELES—Undergoing a rapid physical transformation the instant his hand grasped the
Academy Award for best actor, Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly morphed back into a hairy, heavyset Iowan Sunday after finally winning an Oscar. “This is great—I’ve been waiting for one of these things for a long time. Now, I can finally go back home to Boone and get back to driving a flatbed truck for a living,” said the disheveled DiCaprio, scratching at his itchy scalp and causing dandruff flakes to flutter down to his shoulders as his tuxedo transformed into a tattered, mustard-stained flannel shirt.

Have a safe April 1 and God Bless.

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