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Friday, June 03, 2016

Benny Hinn Miraculously Removes Lump From Woman’s Purse (babylonbee.com/ satire)

ALISO VIEJO, CA—According to several eyewitness reports coming out of Benny Hinn’s “This Is Your Day” revival event Tuesday, the faith healer and televangelist performed yet another miraculous healing, this time instantly and completely removing a large growth from an attendee’s purse.

 
Hinn reportedly paused during the service, sensing the Spirit’s call to interrupt his Bible-based teaching to walk into the crowd and speak with a woman in the third row.

“I sense… I sense you have swelling, somewhere… somewhere in your—your purse?

 It’s your purse, my dear lady, isn’t it?”

Hinn intoned, squinting his eyes as he drew on his powerful connection with God’s Holy Spirit to help relieve this woman of her hindrance.

The woman reportedly burst into tears, nodding, “Yes, yes… yes I have a heavy burden. I have a bulge in my purse, yes!”

“Praise the Lord!” she cried, as the faithful around her raised their arms in worship.

Hinn led the woman to the stage and, according to several credible sources, instantly found the spot containing the lump, and miraculously eliminated it in Jesus’ name.

Though he has no medical training, witnesses say he performed the highly technical maneuver as though he’d been doing it for decades.

 The woman continued to sob, and thanked Hinn for blessing her with his undeniable anointing.

Hinn then reportedly knocked her onto the ground with his suit coat, to the glory of God.
According to Benny Hinn Ministries, Hinn will perform an encore healing session in the city sometime next month, where the man of God promises to remove even more lumps from wallets, purses, pockets, and bank accounts, once he gets back from the Bahamas...

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